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The Orchard, Spot Lane, Otham, Maidstone, Kent ME15 8SE

New-Non-Traditional-Traditions

Over the ages, many traditions have been shaped when it comes to your wedding day and we are often told what we ‘should be’ doing. However, it is now 2019, things are different, things have changed, and wedding day rules are not what they once were! This week we looked at some of the traditions that purely from our experience, can have a little nip and tuck!

Traditional top tables

The top table logistics can often be one of the most stressful elements of the big day for our couples. Who sits there, what if they don’t speak to that person, who will be offended…….family politics are tough, and no one wants to upset their nearest and dearest on the big day. So, re-invent the top table to suit you! There is nothing to say you can’t have your bridesmaids and best men, perhaps just you and your children or maybe just the two of you! The nearest tables to you can then be dedicated to your family members so everyone is equal, and no one is missed out.

First dance

Hands up if as a couple, the idea of having 100 people staring at you whilst you are awkwardly swaying back and forth gives you the deepest darkest fear? You’re not alone! There are a lot of couples now deciding against it altogether! However, if you are torn, why not get your bridal party involved? Don’t rely on the whole ‘invite guests onto the dancefloor to join you half way through’ scenario, if this is not pre-planned, it’s not happening and then there’s an awkward two and half minutes of you willing people to join you with no one moving. Get this planned! Work out how long you want for just the two of you (enough time to get some great photos) and then have your parents, bridesmaids and groomsmen waiting and ready for that point in which they join you. As soon as someone else joins, the rest will follow. Your bridal party are there to support you every step of the way, and the first dance is no exception!

Guest no-shows

This is not a tradition, but it does happen unfortunately, so we just wanted an opportunity to let everyone reading this know, that guest no-shows are not OK. Ever. The couple have spent a lot of money and time on making sure you can share the biggest day of their life with them, whether you’re a day guest or evening guest, if you have committed, be there or have a VERY good excuse as to why you are not.

Speeches

Speeches do not need to be a thing! Yes, it’s a lovely memory, it’s a great way to get your guests laughing (or crying) and it’s lovely to be cheered on and say those special words to your loved ones. BUT……if you are the person delivering that speech and it’s something you are even a little nervous about, this can really overshadow your day until the speech is delivered. We all get a little anxious when public speaking and it’s an incredibly emotive and overwhelming day already! It’s becoming more and more common to skip the speeches altogether now and do you know what……that’s absolutely fine! Alternatively, we are all for having the speeches before the wedding breakfast is served. That way, you can keep that formality, but you can then sit back, relax and enjoy the food and drink with all of your guests without the pressure of the speeches looming over you when youre trying to enjoy dessert!

Parents paying for the wedding

Don’t get us wrong, when the rents give us a helping hand, it’s always appreciated! But nowadays, more and more couples oversee their own finances. The downside can be that the budget can be a little more restricted (unless you book one of our incredibly priced packages of course). The upside is that you don’t have anyone to answer to. We have all encountered a little overzealous mother of the bride or groom at some point in our lives, and sometimes when the ‘bank of dad’ is tapped into, there is a feeling of obligation that you must involve them in all decisions or having to invite your mums’ cousins’ best-friends dog! If you are paying, you can have it exactly how you want it to be, whilst also having a huge sense of achievement! On a side note, we know there are plenty of incredible parents out there that help their children whilst also letting them plan exactly what they want – shout out to you guys!

Wedding favours

We have said it before, we will say it again, if the favour doesn’t fit in your clutch bag, it’s not going home with you. And gents (sorry, sweeping statement we know)……how many of you know what a wedding favour is? Exactly. Stop spending hundreds of pounds on M&Ms with pictures of your faces on and concentrate on providing your guests with memorable experiences like magicians, selfie mirrors, charitable donations….or……save it for the honeymoon!

Gift lists

Most of the time, the newlyweds live with one another prior to the wedding (scandalous we know!). But this means they don’t need ten toasters or seventeen thousand champagne glasses. You’re already equipped, you have your house and all the items you need. Or, perhaps you are looking to move into your new house after the wedding, but you would like to decorate it in your own style! What you may well need is a little helping hand towards your new house items or the honeymoon. It is not bad manners to ask for money or vouchers! There are lots of really creative poems that can be found on Google that politely ask for money from your guests without ruffling any feathers!

Table plans and formal wedding breakfasts

Food trends have changed so much over the years and informal wedding breakfasts are super popular now! From Hog Roasts or Fish and Chips to Street Food and Finger Food buffets, a more relaxed and informal wedding breakfast vibe whilst keeping the formality of the seated meal so you can still have structure and speeches, makes for a great balance. This can also save you the headache of the table plan which can be time consuming and stressful!

Don’t worry, the traditional plated wedding breakfast will forever live!

Grand exits for the newlyweds

From experience, come 1am, a huge majority of your guests have left or are leaving and all that’s left are the four university friends slamming tequila shots and a very drunk uncle insisting the DJ plays ‘Come on Eileen’. Although we are all about the big party for your big day, we also think that lasting impressions and leaving in style with great memories is priceless. Maybe think about a grand exit around 30 minutes before guests are due to depart so you leave wanting more but knowing what an incredible wedding day you have had. Delegate the task of gathering all your items to a sensible adult and jump in your cab as a newly married couple feeling fabulous knowing what an amazing time your guests are having!